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I am no writer. I can write endlessly over and over again but the words I dabble into my journal or type across my keyboard are never anything grand. Yet, I keep on writing. It’s my escape. This heart of mine feels too much. It’s not sensitive but rides the emotion that consumes it. Sometimes the emotion is too strong and needs a way out. So I write. Over and over again. Until these emotions dissipate. these emotions create alternate realities and stories are created. Other and most often, the words are vomit. First drafts of what I feel.
Sometimes, people usually hate to write. Maybe it’s because of it being forced upon in classes. Maybe it’s because it can reveal parts of you that you don’t want to see. If people write though, maybe they’ll see what I see. Experience the feelings I feel. Writing is a form of escape. Where reading takes you into the world of others, writing let’s you create your own. It is self discovery. It’s a place no one else can create because it’s yours. The words I write is a form of me that no one can take away. It’s a part of my identity. 
Writing is wonderful. I am no grand writer but regardless, writing is a lot of me and no one else’s.

I think being alone is glorified to be something it’s not. People typically assume that being alone means that you have no one in your life. But that’s not always true. Sometimes it just means that no one in your life understands you. You feel as if you’re the only one going through whatever you’re going through, and you stand alone. And I’ve heard people say “It’s great to be alone sometimes, because then no one can hurt you.” But when you’re alone, and people are in your life, they tend to not understand you. Which is exactly how they end up hurting you.

Three words I want to tell you. Three words i want you to feel. Three words I’m to scared to say because there is so much meaning behind them. All I want to do is make you happy, I love seeing that smile of yours and hearing your laugh. I love when I get to lay next you and put my arm around you, even though I’m to warm most of the time I enjoy every moment while I can. You have been hurt before and I know you don’t trust, but I would do anything to be your one and only. I’d never cheat, leave or hurt you. I want to get to know all about you, what you love, what you hate, where you go when you’re sad. You have become someone I’m terrified of losing. If only I could say these words to you. I wonder what you’d say.. Would it bring us closer? Or would it push you away?

You need to pick yourself up. No matter how hard it is, you need to wake up and decide that today is going to be a good day and I’m only going to think happy thoughts, and smile at everyone I see. I’m going to live my life because I deserve to.
imsimplysansan:

Gusto kong magpasalamat sa lahat lahat ng pagmamahal na binigay mo sakin. sa lahat ng effort na ginawa mo. sa lahat ng oras na sinayang mo makasama lang ako. sa pagbibigay ng tiwala,respeto at atensyon. Sa kabila ng kalungkutan, pagkukulang, kasalanan at pagkakamaling nagawa ko sayo, nandyan ka pa rin kumakapit at iniintindi ako.
Sa mga oras na nagtatalo tayo, nandyan ka para lambingin ako. Sa bawat oras na malungkot ako, nandyan ka para patawanin ako. Sa bawat oras na may problema ko, Nandyan ka para damayan ako. Pagmamahal na kahit kelan hinding hindi matutumbasan ng kahit na sino at kahit na ano.
Hindi mo alam nakangiti ako dahil alam kong nakangiti ka rin. Hindi mo alam kung gaano ako kasaya na ako ang minahal mo. Hindi mo alam kung gaano ako ka swerte dahil meron akong tulad mo. Hindi mo alam sa mga oras na to handa ko gawin ang lahat para sayo. Hayaan mo namang suklian ko ang lahat ng pagmamahal na pinaramdam mo.

Masarap daw mag yosi, mag marijuana, at uminom kasama ang tropa. Pero diba mas masarap magaral, magsuot ng toga at tumanggap ng diploma.<3

Oneday i will just disappear. maybe people will understand my value then.

(via imsimplysansan)

 

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Pain is what makes happiness worth it. Those minutes or seconds or nano seconds, that we laugh or cry or sing or dance . Those are why we live. Every single thing in life is temporary, except feelings. Pain is what makes happiness worth it. Days like today are the days when ice cream is useful, and friends like me are here to cry and rant with you. Severed relations hurt but good ones are more important.

— (via imsimplysansan)

Nakakamiss rin pala yung mga panahon na palagi kayo magkausap. Yung mga tagpong kahit wala na kayo mapag usapan, hindi pa rin kayo nagsasawa. Nakakamiss yung mga kwento niya at mga joke niyang korni. Nakakamiss yung boses niyang sintunado sa tuwing kinakantahan ka niya bago matulog. Kung minsan hindi mo sinasadya, natutulugan mo siya.

Palagi kayong magkatext umaga hanggang gabi. Minsan nga inaabot pa ng madaling araw. kahit paulit ulit nalang yung pinaguusapan, paulit ulit pa rin yung nararamdaman niyong saya at kilig.

Hanggang sa nagbago ang lahat. Hanggang sa nawala na ang saya at tamis ng pag uusap. Kung dati wala kayo ibang pinoproblema, ngayon puro nalang away ang pinaguusapan niyo. Yung dating Masaya sa tuwing nagkukwentuhan kayo, bigla nalang tumamlay. 

Nakakamiss lang yung mga panahong yun. Hindi naman sa hindi ko naiintindihan na nagsawa siya, na napagod siya, alam ko naman un. Nakakalungkot lang naman isipin, syempre namimiss mo siya. yung kung ano kayo dati.

When you go through something that changes you, you’re never gonna be the same person again. No matter how hard you try, but I think that’s the point.

(via imsimplysansan)

May mga bagay na hindi para sa akin. yun yung mga bagay na kahit anong pilit ko, matuto man akong lumipad, abutin ko man ang langit, damputin ko man ang mga bituin, lumipas man ang mahabang panahon, kahit kailan hindi talaga mapupunta sa akin. isugal ko man ang puso ko, tawirin ko man ang dagat, ibigay ko man ang lahat, wala talaga. Nakakalungkot lang kasi, sa dinamirami ng hindi pwede maging akin, bakit ikaw pa.

(via imsimplysansan)

Don’t wonder why you already lost yourself in a world full of fake people.

(via imsimplysansan)

Ang babae hindi yan ginugutom, dapat binubusog. hindi pinapaiyak, dapat pinapatawa. hindi tinutulugan, dapat nagpapaalam. hindi inaaway, dapat nilalambing. hindi hinuhubaran, dapat binibihisan. hindi binabastos, dapat nirerespeto. hindi iniiwan, dapat iniingatan. hindi rin binabalewala o sinasaktan, dapat minamahal. kasi kapag ang babaeng mahalaga sa buhay mo nawala, nagbago, napagod, nagsawa, siguro naman alam mo na ang dahilan.

(via imsimplysansan)

i want to be nice but people are just so stupid.

I want to care for you, but whenever I look at you I just feel tired.

(via imsimplysansan)

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ME WITH NO YOU

I'm SANSAN 21 years existing on earth. I don't have much something to say about myself and I’m not proud of every decision I made in the past, but I am damn proud of the person I have become. Those decisions helped make me who I am today and I will not apologize for that.

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